The Minister goes GaGa [part 2, dedic to Don B]


The Ruler studies the Milvus Milvus which is studying the desert. The training of the falcon is on a similar level of sophistication as those of the bodyguards. If the Ruler did not have his historical record to stand upon and his present vociferous resistance he would look, despite sartorial splendor, very lost indeed. The Ruler is also called Colonel and right now some of the bodyguards can see that he is smiling, which is mostly a good sign. The resplendent teeth of a person in power. Then he begins twirling the practice prey in his right hand: very, very fast. He has been doing this since more than two decades and the speed and strength with which he does twirl the faux prey would even astound professional athletes in hurling, e.g. javelin, discus, hammer. Lets go. The flight of a furry thing against pure blue at around 200 km/h, rising and disappearing simultaneously, pursued by the M-V-M-V-M-etc.-shape of a rapidly wing-beating bird of prey[1].

High above the sands the paths of flight attain the same undefined point at the same time creating a moment of what is generally considered beauty. The crescent widens to reveal more of the Rulers’ completely refurbished teeth. The procedure’s price tag is estimated to supply the nation’s average household with a livelihood for between four and five months, brutto.

The Milvus Milvus and his daughter, sensational MD Aaliyah G., are the Ruler’s only true sources of happiness, without them the lands and people under his reign would fall back into meaningless darkness. Though the people if asked would beg to differ. The Ruler allows his thoughts to roam. He is awaiting the visit by another head of state and a curious state indeed: this nation makes due with seven heads, which is perhaps not such a bad idea considering a nation’s frequent thirst for rolling heads.

Many of the bodyguards know from their own experience that the bird is at heart a wild animal meaning it could in a moment of sudden high temper disfigure the Ruler without them being able to do any thing about it. A sprint would take approximately 3.7 seconds in these sands and firing the gun in the general direction of the Ruler’s head, Milvus Milvus assault or no, is unthinkable. This causes at least one third of them many a sleepless night and not IBS but “bad guts” for which in downtime they can be seen to pop various pills.

Something about being a bodyguard within a little army of bodyguards that makes most of them feel, not unfrequently, as one massed body.


The flight, that is, its duration and the dishes served and the interpretation of his elaborate gaze, is impeccable. The tires of the jet touch down squeakily at the appointed minute, the runway’s lights blurring into one luminous line. The minister takes this to be an excellent omen, though he does not believe in omen.

Now their Leetch-jet is taxiing around on the intra-desertal tarmac, which is full of bumps that give the minister many unkind thoughts concerning the infrastructure of the nation and the nation itself. After about 20 minutes the 1/7th head of the tiger-mouse nation understands unhappily that this is all part of a game of humiliation, that at this hour with this high visitor in whatever airport of the world taxiing could never take up more than 10 minutes. All remaining light is internal and creamy.

Two dun-colored special agents enter silently from the much smaller forward compartment, which in the forward sections the chances of survival in case of calamitous events are somewhat smaller. The couple’s silence and economy of motion is the type one would attribute to authentic ninjas with decades of training in stealth. There is a minute change in pressure and a faint whiff of perspiration plus spilled ink.

–       Gentlemen, you are already familiar with the objective, which I no longer will have to expound upon. I will not have to relate to you two excellently trained secret agents the excruciating, absolutely vital details of national importance. None of the highly confidential information, which you will be putting into practice shortly is the reason why, at this time, I felt it my ministerial obligation to have a final meeting with you. As you are surely aware, given your profound knowledge of procedural etiquette and officialdom propriety, which is, I might say, in utmost contrast with the pragmatic approach necessary for your work. Yes. All of this is understood.

They nod their heads in synchronicity. They understand what the minister is saying even if it is a pain in their steely behinds to listen to it in full.

–       So I will no longer torture you with the timeline and actions and priorities, which you have already fully commited to both heart and memory. Instead, I will apologize that like myself unfortunately also, you have to suffer this embarassment of the unnecessary taxiing around the runway across numerous bumps of significant depth for no good reason. It is undignified but part of the price a mighty nation sometimes has to pay to achieve its transcendent objectives, objectives which exist far above all reproach. So consider yourself happy even in this hour of unnecessary tarmac circulation to be among the elect representatives to have the honor of realizing these glorious objectives by taking good care of your complex, highly secretive mission. A mission that will not be recapitulated by me now even though I also, in my position as minister, am familiar with the excruciating specifics and the complications they give rise to. Complications which, due to your excellent training you will be able to keep at bay.

The shorter of the two secret agent is realizing only just now that he has to mentally tune out of the minister’s soliloquy because it is significantly draining his general level of concentration. He wishes for the gate to be opened or any other godsend.

[1] The Red Kite (Milvus milvus) is a medium-large bird of prey in the family Accipitridae, which also includes many other diurnal raptors such as eagles, buzzards and harriers. The species is currently endemic to the Western Palearctic region in Europe and northwest Africa, though formerly also occurred just outside in northern Iran. [Wikipedia]


About tmabona

writer, reader [bolano, DW, bellow, deLillo], runner, badmintoneer
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